The Theatre Arts Audition Book for Men by Annika Bluhm

Author:Annika Bluhm
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Taylor and Francis

One for the Road by Willy Russell

It is Dennis’s fortieth birthday. As his guests arrive, discussing the neighbourhood community programme and the mysterious attacks on garden gnomes, Dennis struggles to break out of his domesticity and find a new meaning to his life. Here he is talking to his friends after his birthday dinner about his pet dislikes.

Dennis Every time I see a new piece of Tupperware in the house it feels like another little invasion has taken place … It seems to have a will of its own. I dreamt about it the other night. I dreamed that all the Tupperware in the house gelled together into one big plastic mass and began rollin’ and slidin’ up the stairs, on and on, through the bedroom door and sliding across the carpet, creepin’ up onto the bed and pouncin’ on me. The more I struggled, the more wrapped up in it I became until finally I stopped struggling and became The Tupperware Man. ( … )

An’ in the next part of the dream I was Tupperware Man himself – I could fly and everything I touched turned to Tupperware. The world was in a panic. They sent Superman after me, and Batman and Robin and Luke Skywalker and Wonder Woman. But they were all helpless in the face of Tupperware Man. I turned them all into Tupperware – Batman and Robin became a butterdish an’ egg cup, Superman was turned into a picnic box, Luke Skywalker into a salad spinner an’ I turned Wonder Woman into a huge, tit-shaped jelly mould. Planet Earth was in danger of becoming a Tupperware Globe when the Americans came up with a new invention – Tupperware Woman. They sent her after me and I tried to resist, but it was no good, I was helpless in the face of her. An irresistible force drew me towards her, I couldn’t stop myself, I struggled to keep away from her but I was drawn on and on. Beaten, I gave up, I kissed her and me lid flew off. It was all over.

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